Death is one of the most difficult subjects to talk about. Many adults struggle with how to discuss grief and loss, and when it is a child that has suffered a bereavement, the fear of saying or doing the wrong thing is heightened.
Harry’s Rainbow, the Milton Keynes-based children’s bereavement charity, has recently appointed Mark Creasy as its Education Liaison Development Officer. His role will involve working with schools to train staff about bereavement, particularly with responding to and supporting a child that has lost a loved one. Mark can also deliver assemblies on bereavement and help schools look at how they can include bereavement in the curriculum, as well as in behavioural and attendance policies.
Mark said: “Statistically, there is likely to be a child in every classroom that has lost someone close to them. It’s important to have a realistic approach and for schools to prepare for that eventuality because, sadly, a child could lose a parent or sibling at any time.
“There are ways to address the issue so that it is relevant to children. Children often need assurances about death, from adults that support them and listen to them, but who use words like ‘dying’ and ‘death’ and help them understand that someone who has died has gone and cannot come back. When the whole family is dealing with grief together, having someone at school a child can turn to is important.”
Harry’s Rainbow has a package that costs £300 through which Mark will carry out a 60 to 90-minute training session with as many individuals as the school wishes. That can include anyone from teachers and support staff to governors and volunteers who go into school to help children with reading.
In addition, the package includes an assembly dealing with the issue of bereavement, a donation of books that help address the topic, and working with the school to update its policies.
Mark said: “If the school doesn’t feel comfortable at first with the idea of an assembly, that’s fine. I will deliver the training and am always happy to field follow-up questions at the time or if they want to email me later. Our package compares with some bereavement courses that can be around £250 per person, and it can be covered through mental health funding.
“Death is a difficult topic to speak to children about. What matters though, is understanding how to deal with children experiencing a bereavement, because just like adults, they need to deal with it in their own way.
“The school might be the first to see that a child’s behaviour has changed, they might become more withdrawn, or they might start to behave in a way that gets attention. Some children want to talk about it, others might want to just sit in silence with their thoughts. The important thing is that they are given the space to express how they feel in their own way with someone who is there for them.”
The intention is that the Education Liaison Programme will eventually be rolled out to workplaces but, in the meantime, if any business is especially keen to gain more understanding of bereavement, the Harry’s Rainbow team will be happy to assist.
